1. the act or state of expecting or the state of being expected
2. (usually plural) something looked forward to, whether feared or hoped for we have great expectations for his future their worst expectations
3. an attitude of expectancy or hope; anticipation to regard something with expectation
4. (Mathematics & Measurements / Statistics) Statistics another term for expected value
expectative [ɪkˈspɛktətɪv] adj
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003
The problem is expectation is it somehow overcomes appreciation! Whether it be our own expectation or that of others.
For example, as a yoga teacher people expect me to be physically flexible. If I had a dollar for every time I said what I teach & got the reply ‘so you can put our foot behind your head then’ I’d be rich! Now the trouble with expectation is that is can lead to disappointment. So when I reassure the person that no, I am not naturally flexible & certainly can’t contort myself into gymnastic positions they look disappointed. This disappoints me too, in a number of ways. Firstly the obvious- that somebody has, again, associated yoga only with physical postures and flexibility. That is gymnastics not yoga! Secondly that I don’t live up to other peoples’ expectation of what ‘a yoga teacher should be’ and thirdly a little disappointment in myself that I haven’t focused hours of time & effort into attempting to reach those expectations (yes even though I know they are unfeasible I still mentally anguish over not achieving them!).
Expectations can come from outside; the social expectations, family expectations, a partners or friends expectation. They are also internal; how we judge ourselves and what we expect to achieve. As in the dictionary definition- ‘the act or state of being expected’. Expectation can be positive or negative, and either can be detrimental to our well being as well a positive experience!
I am writing this on new years eve. A time of expectation. In fact I would go as far to say that the festive season itself is full of expectation. Often less a season of giving and more of expecting! We are expected to have a good time, spend it with those close to us, be that family or friends, to share gifts (regardless of financial circumstances), to make merry & be jolly irrespective of circumstances. New Year is another time of expectation. Where we look at ourselves and see what we may change. Lifestyle, habits, addictions, friends to name but a few of the common ones!
Myself, I am aiming to have less expectation! Of myself as I tend to expect a lot of myself & often need to learn to let go of that & just ‘go with the flow’. I also intend to mind less what others expect of me. I know I am not ‘your typical yoga teacher’, to be honest I’m not sure that I am your typical anything!! However I am learning to be happy with whom I am, to love myself for whom I am, and to care less that I don’t fit neatly into any of the boxes that society likes to slide us into.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.”
With this in mind I intend to believe in myself more, and to appreciate more rather than expect more!! The unexpected is often greatly appreciated. Maybe this will lead to a destiny of appreciation, for me and for others!! If not, at least I will stop being so hard on myself and give myself more time for play, for fun and for friends and family!!
And if I do ever manage to get that foot behind my head I will appreciate if so much as I certainly don’t expect I ever will
Have an amazing 2012 & I hope it brings you many things to appreciate; good health, happiness, love and the kind of experiences that bring a twinkle to the eye and a glow to the soul.