Feburary is the month that people seem to talk about love. In my mind yoga & love go very much together! With Valentines day in the middle of the month it seems as though the shops stop stocking the last of the Christmas sales and start with the Valentines cards and ideas for gifts. It seems that those in couples feel an increasing expectation to buy, to spend money rather than time and to show with material possessions rather than action how they feel.
This seems to be the way much of society is heading. A very external view of everything. Love; that very personal experience is demonstrated with public declarations, success seems to be merited from material possessions. We all like to enjoy a comfortable existence but we need to realise that comfort and contentment start from an internal not an external point.
For me contentment, santosha, is the noticing of the small things, the ability to enjoy where I am and who I am. It may be the enjoyment in the curve of a tea spoon or the pleasure of a smooth breath in a challenging moment. I know that I am feeling content not when I am not craving more but when I am noticing, spontaneously, what & where I am and being happy with the answers. Maybe I allow myself to smile at the unfinished stairs, not needing them to be carpeted yet as I can be content to play with possibilities. Maybe I can choose an afternoons self indulgent reading of paperwork as I move into my office rather than rushing to get things to look ordered without actually knowing what I am stacking into piles. Maybe its just the pleasure of a shower where my body savours the touch of the water on my skin, where I enjoy the swirls of bubbles and the sheer joy of being inside my own body.
We need to enjoy being inside our body because that is where we will stay while alive in this lifetime. Hence below I have given five tips I use to love myself a little more.
- Learning to accept my differences. I am different to other people in a number of ways. Maybe the obvious ones that I choose not to drink alcohol or eat meat, that I don’t watch TV but instead choose to spend my me time quietly, often alone rather than in company. Reading or meditating, or pampering myself with a treatment or a dog walk along the river! There are many (often ex partners!) who tell me that I am strange, that I should fit into societies expectations, but it is only when I decided to stop trying to shape myself into other’s expectations and to embrace my uniqueness that I started to really enjoy being me. This is obvious really, if we are who we like to be then we will like to be with ourselves!
- Laugh, smile, surround yourself with optimistic people rather than energy draining negative people. Keep the company of those that make you smile and have as many ‘can’t stop laughing’ moments as possible.
- Keep a gratitude journal. Every day note down 3 things to be grateful for. However your day went, if you’re reading this you have technology at your disposal like a computer or a smart phone, you have food to eat and friends and family there for you. You are lucky to have a warm place to sleep and a secure roof over your head. Be grateful; don’t take things for granted. Health, friendships, your home. Enjoy and appreciate what you have rather than moaning about that which you don’t have,
- Change something. Maybe move furniture around, listen to a different radio station or new music, Get a new hairstyle or wear clothes you’ve not worn before, Try a new hobby…just do something that is not usual for you. Change something and see how it adds a freshness to other areas of your life.
- Treat yourself. Maybe treat yourself to some time for you, or cook yourself a meal with the same care and attention you would for someone else you love. Treat your self as you would like to be treated by a loved one. With awareness of what you enjoy and compassion for what you need; be it someone to massage your feet or someone else to do your ironing!! Obviously I will suggest treating yourself to a yoga retreat or a day workshop (click to see more details) to really indulge yourself with you time ..they really will help you find out what makes you happy with lots of yoga, hypnotherapy and sunshine.
So spend some time this month loving yourself, learning to like who you are and discovering how to awake to the essential goodness and love within you. Earn your own respect by treating yourself with kindness, love and respect, and doing more yoga.